Live to Eat, Eat to Live

Last week while eating Cap'n Crunch for the 437th day in a row, my four year-old looked up from the breakfast table and said, "Mama, is there a kitchen in heaven?" He's been obsessed with heaven and the afterlife for some time now, but this is the first occasion that he actually asked about the presence of food in the Great Beyond. You see, my son, a healthy, witty, hilarious child does not love food. Don't get me wrong-- he can get as excited about a Happy Meal as any other preschooler, but it's usually because of the newest Kung Fu Panda toy, not because of the 100% white meat nuggets. He will stop dead in his tracks for various types of fruit and ALL types of candy (especially Nerds), but as a rule, he could subsist just fine on air and a juice box.

My one year-old, on the other hand, loves food. I have yet to find one food that she will not eat. So far, her preferred menu includes avocado, T-Bone steak, kiwi, and refried beans. She kicks her legs and squeals with glee while I peel and slice a mango, throwing a fit if I don't deliver it to her high chair on time. She happily lapped up any and all baby food that I gave her, never rejecting a morsel. Both children come from the same genetic pool and have been raised in the same home by foodie parents, but their relationships with food couldn't be more different.

So back to the celestial query. "Of course there's a kitchen in heaven," I told him. "It's a place where you can have any kind of food you want at any time, no rules or restrictions." He seemed satisfied by the answer, and we went about our day as usual. Later that afternoon, however, I got to thinking about that kitchen in heaven and what it would serve. Here, in no particular order, is my must-have list:

• Bacon, pork chops, pork tenderloin-- anything having to do with the pig: As I type this, I have baby back ribs slow-cooking in the oven coated with a sweet and spicy barbecue rub. There is no better smell in the world!
• A crisp, tart apple: Just found a new variety (at least it's new to me) at the grocery store called Pink Lady. Those and Honeycrisps (a Minnesota creation, thank you very much!) make my mouth water.
• Cheese: All kinds (except for goat cheese which is way too barnyard-y for me), especially a sharp Danish blue, creamy Havarti, and a nice Vermont cheddar.
• French fries: Was there ever any question about this one?
• Fresh peaches: Only those procured in June or July please!
• A Chicago hot dog: Don't even ask if I want ketchup, because the answer is, "no." All I need is yellow mustard, onion, tomato, pickle, and celery salt.
• A nice, thick ribeye: Seared on the outside, but bloody pink on the inside. A nice baked potato on the side wouldn't hurt, either.
• Kraft macaroni and cheese: Yes, I have made scratch versions with a proper bechamel and aged cheddar, but nothing comforts the soul like the blue box and its powdered orange cheese stuff.

I could go on forever, but that would 1) make me way too hungry and 2) squander more of the precious quiet moments I have while the offspring are sleeping.

One final thought: if there is a kitchen in heaven, do they take reservations??